Subject: NCIS
by TheBurningNight
Summary: Recieve a sneek peek into the world of NCIS on the net. Why can't Palmer find the liver, and what exactly is this about a bomb in the building?
1. Chapter 1: Liver

TOTimothy McGee

FROMJimmy Palmer

SUBJECTLiver

McGeek

Where does the liver go?

PaLMeR

**Re: Liver**

To Palmer,

Huh?

McGEE

**Re: Re: Liver**

Mc**Geek**

I've forgotten

PaLMeR

**Re: Re: Re: Liver**

To Palmer,

Yeah, I've heard. I also saw the 'report' you sent Tony *shiver*

McGEE

**Re: Re: Re: Liver**

Mc**Geek**

YOU BE DISSEN ME AUTOPSY REPORT?

PaLMeR


	2. Chapter 2: Autopsy

TO: The Duckster  
FROM: DiNozzo  
SUBJECT: Autopsy

Hey Ducky,

I know you have, like, one body but I really need those results. Gibbs is breathing fire down my neck and if I don't have a theory soon let's just say that I WILL DIE.

Oh, and since I asked first can I have the report first? Pleeaaasssee?

Very Special Agent D.

**Re: Autopsy**

Tony, do not rush a genius. You'll get the results when I've finished.

Only if you can tear them away from Palmer, who seems to have forgotten where to put the liver. God help me.

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Autopsy**

Sorry Ducky.

But does that mean I get them first?

Hang on. Did you just say Palmer _forgot _something? Oh God. He sent me the weird email saying he doesn't remember what he going to email me about.

God help us all.

Very Special Agent D.

**Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

S'ok.

If you're brave enough.

I do apologies for his behaviour. I am starting to wish Gerald had never got shot.

He forgets a lot of things

Amen to that

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

Um, check this out: Link:/palmerwork:mummy/what-love

Try that for brave.

You and me both, I miss Gerald so much right now.

Are you looking forward to bowling?

How about that report? I'm first, yeah?

Very Special Agent D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

Oh, I've already seen. Do not put any faith in that. My report is nearly done.

He didn't lose any livers did he?

Oh, I can't wait I remember this one time in Scotland a friend asked me to bowl for him at the new centre, it had just opened up last Saturday, so off we went and- oh, crap. Palmer he wants the computer have to…

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

GIVE ME THE LIVER

PaLMeR

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

Hey Ducky…and…errr…Palmer.

It has LOVE in the title, don't you think that's a bit misleading? I do, what if some little kid clicks on it? Huh? HUH?

Nope, and he was cool; he made jokes. Damn Arie (or however you spell his name.) He kills Kate and shoots Gerald. :(

Oh well thanks for that Ducky, wanna see what he send? Do you?

'GIVE ME THE LIVER

PaLMeR'

Look what you put me through.

Ducky, the report? CanI have it? Pleaaase?

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

Wow, excellent theory GENIUS. What kid would be looking at some temps autopsy notes?

Cool… yes, he was cool in the modern day concept of the word. Remember when he pretend to be dead? That was quiet amusing.

Damn those terrorists.

I apologise for his behaviour. I am truly disappointed

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

YOUR FRIENDS THINK YOU'RE AN ASS HOLE AND I DO TO. OVER CONSPEMATING FOR YOUR SMALL SHOES

PaLMeR

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

Why thanks for the sarcasm NOT. Some kids a weird, you NEVER know.

You didn't find it too amusing as I recall it. Poor Gerald. With his veins popping and all.

I'm pretty sure that's racists. Oh well.

I'm not.

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Autopsy**

Love is blind, Lucky for YOU

POP, POP, POP

I heart Racism

The F***K?

The Duckster


	3. Chapter 3: Urgent

TO: Ducky  
FROM: Ziva  
SUBJECT: Urgent

Hello Ducky.

I am sure you are aware of the case that we are working on. I have been informed that you have the body.

I would just like to request that once you have finished the autopsy and written the report, could I request that I look at the report first.

Thanks Ducky, I just need to check something for my theory.

Ziva.

**Re: Urgent**

Miss David, Of course I can give you the report. You'll have to get it off Palmer though. If you don't mind me asking, what is your theory?

Who was the genius the informed you that the **autopsy specialist **had the body?

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Urgent**

Hello Ducky.

Why does Palmer have the report? McGee told me how he lost a liver, we are yet to tell Gibbs.

Oh my theory, its quiet simple. I just thought, considering he is a serial killer, that he might leave some type of sign on the body.

Gibbs told me.

Oh and you might want to watch out for Vance, he wants details. I have told him that he must go to Gibbs for details.

Bye,

Ziva

**Re: Re: Re: Urgent**

Oh he hasn't lost it. He's been walking around Autopsy with it held in his gloveless hands. I've been told he doesn't know what to do with it.

That is an excellent theory Miss David. As soon as I find something I will call you down.

Hehehe…crap

Well that's very unprofessional isn't it? I shall tell him nothing. NOTHING

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Urgent**

Ducky.

That…that…that is quite disgusting.

Oh yes, DiNozzo and McGee have been telling everyone.

Thank you, how is the autopsy going?

Yes, I know. He is getting quite persistent.

Yes, that is what we are aiming for too.

About that report? May I have it first?

Bye,

Ziva

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Urgent**

I'm glad your sense of social protocol is still clear, Miss David. Palmer doesn't even have moral obligation never mind social protocol.

I dare not talk about it. Autopsy is very distracting when there is someone with a LIVER in their BARE HANDS walking around.

I thought it was traditional to go to the team leader for information?

Of course, Miss David. I will email it to you as soon as I have it finished.

The Duckster


	4. Chapter 4: Report

TO: Ducky  
FROM: GIBBS  
SUBJECT: Report

Can I have that report now Duck?

GIBBS

**Re: Report**

As soon as I'm finished, Jethro

The Duckster


	5. Chapter 5:What?

TOAnthony DiNozzo

FROMJimmy Palmer

SUBJECTWhat

I was going to tell you something but I can't remember what.

**Re: What**

Palmer,

If you don't remember, why did you email me? Aren't you meant to be dissecting a body or something? WE HAVE A CASE TO WORK ON!

Special Agent D.

P.S When you're done will you email me the report?

**Re: Re: What**

I would but I can't remember where to put the liver.

Here's the link, I've already finished

Link:/palmerwork:mummy/what-love

He's dead and he has no brain. There was a camera down his throat

**Re: Re: Re: What**

Palmer,

IT'S JUST THE LIVER! DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT GO TO UNI?

What the hell was that? Did you just post **case details **on line? Palmer, that's a security breech.

Special Agent D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: What**

DUCKY POSTS HIS REPORTS ON FACEBOOK!


	6. Chapter 6: I'm Really Freaked Out

TOTimothy McGee

FROMAbby Suito

SUBJECTIm really freaked out

**McGee**

The whole 'crying nun' thing is freaking me out. How can that me a clue? I mean…Crap I just found something hinky.

**Abby**

**Re: Im really freaked out**

Dear Abby,

I know how you must feel, especially the bowling this weekend…with the nuns…oh crap..

What did you find? What's hinky?!

McGee

**Re: Re: Im really freaked out**

**McGee**

Okay first: Bring your gun to bowling.

Second: Bloody Mary! Naaaah!

I have to tell Tony!

**Abby**

**Re: Re: Re: Im really freaked out**

Dear Abby,

Abby! I can't bring my gun to bowling, _it's illegal. _Why? Do you think that Gibbs is in danger?

What? Bloody Mary? Huh?

McGee

**Re: Re: Re: Im really freaked out**

**McGee**

No its not! Not if you have a good reason behind it like GIBBS BEING IN DANGER.

You know, BLOODY MARY? The freaking scary tongue lady?

**Abby**

**Re: Re: Re: Im really freaked out**

Dear Abby,

I know that's a good reason but, Abby, I can't go around carrying my gun, I _can't._

The tongue lady? That's _Mary Shaw _not Bloody Mary. And you call yourself a goth.

McGee


	7. Chapter 7: Bowling

TOLeroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David Donald Mallard

FROMAbby Suito

SUBJECTBowling

Hey Guys!

The sister's and I have a grand final on the weekend and I would really find it AMAZING if you could come. Email me back as soon as you know.

Abby

**Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Miss Suito, I do believe I can come however I must ask mother if she has any other arrangements

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Abbs,

I don't think I can, I have plans for my boat.

GIBBS.

**Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Yeah, uh, sure Abby. I might be able to come, are the nuns hot?

Very Special Agent D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Abby,

Yeah I can come, what time is it?

McGee

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

To Abby,

Bowling? I have never bowled before, I'd love to come.

Where is it?

Ziva.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

People of NCIS

A big thank you to Ducky, McGee, Ziva and Tony. The time is 10am till 1pm at Bowlers Lodge 5th avenue. Ziva I know you'll love bowling! After it's finished we can have our own game if you want. And Tony, their nuns, what do you think? THEY DON'T PUT OUT.

GIBBS! You can work on your boat anytime! My grand final comes once. ONCE. I can't believe you!

Abby

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Excellent, you can count me as a definite. I'll have to ask Palmer about mother though…wish me luck.

Jethro: that is very selfish of you

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Since when did everyone boss **me **around?

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

10 till 1? Sure, I can make it. OH YES! We bowl afterwards! DiNozzo domination!

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Yeah…bowling sounds fun…can't wait :)

McGee.

P.S Palmer and this liver thing is really freaking me out.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

To Abby,

Yes, I can make it, but I do need a lift, my car is in the shop.

Ziva.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Gibbs,

Sorry I didn't mean to tell you what to do. But you didn't answer my question. Can. You. Make. It.

Tony,

Since when do you bowl? I thought you were more the movie type.

McGee,

Yay! Get ready to get your bowl on!

Ziva,

No problemo, you can catch a lift with me.

Ducky,

Ha, If he remembers.

Everyone,

Can't wait for you to come and see us soar to VICTORY

Abby

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Do not joke about that miss Suito.

I need someone to pick me up too,

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Abbs,

Fine. I'll come, Ducky can come with me too.

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Yeah, movies and bowling goes hand in hand, holler!

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Yep. If WII bowling is anything to judge by, I should be alright :)

McGee.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

To Abby,

Thank you. I need to bring socks…correct?

Ziva.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Ducky,

Sorry Duckster.

Gibbs,

Oh-my-god really! Thank you so much Gibbs! SQUEAL!

DiNozzo,

Nice connection, logic, not so nice.

McGee,

Shoot, McGee! Did you slam my high score?

Ziva,

Yep, socks would be a fab idea.

Everyone,

SOOOOO Excited!

Abby

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Oh, it's perfectly alright.

Thank you, Jethro. I was hoping I wouldn't have to ask Mr Palmer

The Duckster

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Don't worry about it, Ducks. I'd hate to see Palmer on the road.

As long as you get some details on the case.

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

My connection is fine! As is my logic.

Ziva: Yeah socks are a _really _good idea.

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Oops. I'll probably suck at real bowling, though.

McGee.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Well thank you for the sarcasm, Tony. I am sorry but as I have mentioned, I have never bowled before.

I am looking forward to it, Abby.

Ziva

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bowling**

**Fwd: ****Leroy Jethro Gibbs Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee Ziva David**

Can't wait to see you all there!

Abby


	8. Chapter 8: Brains

TOLeroy Jethro Gibbs

FROMDonald Mallard

SUBJECTBrains

Jethro, have you ever had the thought that maybe our killer is a zombie?

The Duckster

**RE: Brains**

Ducks,

No.

GIBBS


	9. Chapter 9: Results

TOAnthony DiNozzo

FROMAbby Suito

SUBJECTResults

Hey Tony!

I've found something hinky with the camera. Once you get Ducky's autopsy report can you forward it to me? Thanks!

Abby

**Re: Results. **

Sure Abby, but you might be waiting a while because PALMER HAS LOST A LIVER. And I am currently using my charismatic charm to get the report first so mm.

What's with the camera?

D.

**Re: Re: Results**

The DiNozzo

He lost a liver? The hell?

Ah, some residue that has abnormal concentrations of led. Could be contributed the death. I need the results to know before I call Gibbs

Abby

**Re: Re: Re: Results**

The DiNozzo? I like it.

I know, weird right? If you wanna know more details check this out: Link:/palmerwork:mummy/what-love

Just to let you know, Palmer sent that to me. Ducky knows about it and so does Ziva, just spreading the love!

Don't worry Abbs, Ducky says he'll get it to me soon, and then I'll give it to you, I promise!

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Results**

Oh, goodie! I'll make sure I'll call you it more often

Garh! Checked that out. So weird. How did _he_ get into NCIS?

Crap, who's going to send it to Gibbs? ...SHOTS NOT

Naw, fanks DiNozzo! I'm totally feelin' the love

By the way you know the whole Mary crying thing? BLOODY MARY

Abby

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Results**

:) It'll annoy McGee.

Me and Ducky have been discussing it. We miss Gerald.

NOT ME, sucker!

Mm. Just as soon as I get it from Ducky…anytime now…

*Shiver* Creepy.

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Results**

That's not the reason I'm going to call you that!

Aw, Abby misses Gerald too!

Ask, McGee

Mmmm, what's taking him so long?

More than creepy! MAJORLY CREEPY

Abby


	10. Chapter 10: Trouble

TO: Abby  
FROM: Gibbs  
SUBJECT: Trouble

Abbs,

I can't figure out how to forward something, can you help?

GIBBS

**Re: Trouble**

Sure Gibbs! Do I get a Caff Pow?

Abby

**Re: Re: Trouble**

Abbs,

Maybe.

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re Trouble**

Good enough for me! Press the 'fwd' button.

Abby

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Trouble**

Abbs,

What 'fwd' button? I DON'T SEE NO DAMN BUTTON!

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trouble**

The one in the right corner. Surrounded by a little grey box?

Abby


	11. Chapter 11: Probies Coming Up

TO: Vance

FROM: Gibbs

SUBJECT: Probies coming up.

Vance,

I know what's coming up. If you try to give me probie I'll chew their head off.

And then you'll have something to investigate.

GIBBS

**Re: Probies coming up**

Gibbs,

WHO DA BOSS? IM DA BOSS.

I wasn't gonna give you one anyway

Da Boss

**Re: Re: Probies coming up**

Vance,

You da weird.

Good.

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re: Probies coming up**

Gibbs,

Who you calling weird, basement boy?

Well I have to rethink my decision now.

Da Boss


	12. Chapter 12: The Case

TOZiva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee

FROMLeon Vance

SUBJECTThe Case

I need to know more details about the case. TELL ME

Vance

**Re: The Case  
CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

Director Vance,

It was my understanding that for details on an investigation that you should go to the team leader.

Ziva

**Re: Re: The Case  
CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

Um, sorry Vance, don't know much.

D.

**Re: Re: Re: The Case  
CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

To Director Vance,

I don't have err… umm…uhh…

McGee

**Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

I can't ask Gibbs. STOP LYING

Vance

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

Director Vance,

What? Have I been taught wrong?

Ziva

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

If you want to get the report, go ahead. Tell me if you see the liver.

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

To Director Vance,

…

McGee

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

What liver? Case me, PRONTO

Vance

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

Gibbs has to brief you.

Ziva

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

_The _Liver, Director, _the _liver.

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

To Director Vance.

Everyone knows about _the _liver, you know, with Palmer?

McGee

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

There is a bomb in the building

Vance

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

What? Huh?

I can disarm the bomb :)

Ziva

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

No, not a bomb, a _liver._

D.

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

To Director Vance,

Um excuse me? I don't understand.

McGee

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Case**  
**CC: Ziva David Anthony DiNozzo Timothy McGee**

Ziva! You do that. DiNozzo, you and McGeek work on evacuating the building. I'll tell gibbs

Vance


	13. Chapter 13: My Team

TO: Vance  
FROM: Gibbs  
SUBJECT: My team

Vance,

Leave my team alone. They won't tell you anything.

GIBBS

**Re: My team**

I don't know what you are talking about

DA BOSS

**Re: Re: My team**

Well I do. They're not telling you anything.

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re: My team**

It is there duty as federal agents to report to me. Accept it, dude

Vance in da hood

**Re: Re: Re: Re: My team**

Since when have my team followed the rules?

GIBBS

**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My team**

Since I became director, yo!

Vance in da hood


	14. Chapter 14: Bomb

TO Leroy Jethro Gibbs

FROM Leon VANCE

SUBJECT Bomb

There is a bomb in the building!

Vance


End file.
